In no particular order, here are 27 things I plan to leave behind when I turn 27, or at least try to. Hey, nobody’s perfect, but I gotta work it, again and again til I get it right… okay I’ll stop.
I’ve been getting a little “woo woo” lately, and one of the podcasts I listened to spoke about manifestation. It’s a very interesting concept that has been talked about for years and years, but really what I’ve taken away from it is this: Manifestation is not just about wishing or envisioning something happening in your life.
Girl, YOU GOTS TO DO THE WORK. You can’t just say “I want x” and then just sit on your couch and expect the universe to hand it to you on a silver platter. No. You want a new job? Guess what, you have to be open to opportunities AND you have to apply and go to interviews.
Are your actions aligned with the life you want? This is something I’m going to be consistently assessing this next year, and I’m leaving the misalignment behind me.
2. Dating Apps:
Okay hear me out here: I have always been the girl who is perpetually single, and to be frank, I’m fine with it. Honestly. Even my mother has told me that she thinks I may never get married, and I wasn’t offended in the slightest by that statement!
But I have always said, that if I do meet “The Guy”, I want it to be organically. Yeah, I want that somewhat movie-magic moment where things just fall into place. Maybe it’s the other part of me that’s a hopeless romantic, but dating apps just seem forced, and have ruined dating culture. I could go on and on about this… But I’ll leave it here:
I’m leaving the apps behind because (to my previous point), having them is not an action that aligns with what I want to welcome in. So catch me in real life, knights in shining armor!
“Minimalism!” Honestly, NO. Guess what, I don’t want to live minimally. Do I want to have a bunch of stuff I don’t need in life? No, BUT, I can’t totally get on board with this trend.
Life is meant to be lived LARGELY and when I’m living in a state of scarcity, I am a sad Haleigh. And this blog is call happily Haleigh. That would be misaligned… so bye bye scarcity! HELLO TO ALL THE THINGS IN LIFE.
Oof, this is a tough one. I’m not sure one can truly do away with this mentality, but I definitely am aware of how awful I feel when I have this emotion.
Fear of Missing Out is a construct of society though. Fear that something you say “no” to will be that one magic moment where your life has so much value added to it that you have completely missed the boat by not attending.
Guess what – life gives you what you need, and if you’re trusting your intuition, the decisions you make should make you feel grounded. Know that those decisions are what are right for you, and you’re not missing out. What was there, was not meant for you. And your Netflix in bed probably saved you from a truly horrific night.
5. Fake Likes:
Again, SOCIETAL PRESSURE IS REAAAAL. Have you ever felt like “Oh I should read more because I’m supposed to like reading.” Or ooo, ooo, better example: GAME OF THRONES. (Come one, you don’t all actually like that show).
So, you pretend to “like” something because everyone else does, or you’re supposed to, or it will make you look like a better human. Well no more of this. I shouldn’t feel shame because I prefer watching a good show vs. reading most nights. I shouldn’t feel the need to keep up with certain celebrities that I truly don’t care about.
Stop pretending to like things. It’s dumb and make you a robot.
6. Fake Friends:
Same goes with friends. Stop pretending to like people you don’t like, and stop trying to keep people in your life who don’t actually like you. Plain and simple.
7. Second Guessing:
CONFIDENCE, COHEN. (If you don’t know this reference, you’re a fake friends and I can no longer associate with you. Kidding, kinda).
8. “What If’s”:
Ah, yes, “what if” is a classic and extremely well-known term to any ruminator. I’ve spoken about ruminating before – I’ve done this my WHOLE life. It’s in my blood. I’ll probably still have a lot of these moments the rest of my life, but I’m going to do my best to be more aware of when I get in my head.
9. Saying “Yes”:
I like to make people happy – plain and simple. I don’t like to be difficult, because I think the world would be better if we all just tried a little harder. But sometimes, I hand out “yes’s” like Oprah handing out cars – “You get a Yes, You get a Yes, Everybody gets a Yes!” It gets draining! Knowing my health issues, I have to be a little more protective of myself this year. So if I tell you no, it’s not because I don’t love you, I just have to love me more this year 🙂
10. Saying “No”:
I know, I’m contradicting myself, but I have a point. Some of the things I say “yes” to, I could definitely cut back on. However, I could also stop saying “no”. No to opportunities, no to new people in my life, no to things that could welcome awesomeness into my life.
Basically, I need to work on a better balance between “yes” and “no” this year.
Isn’t it so easy to hibernate in your room, in your bed, under the covers, watching Netflix or endlessly scrolling on social media? It’s so easy. Especially when you have a valid of excuse of “I’m really not feeling well, I need to rest, etc.” (this is valid in my case).
And yes, knowing things I’m going through, I do need to rest and take care of myself. BUT I do NOT want to become a hermit in this world. I live in the most beautiful city, with awesome people, and amazing experiences. It’s a shame to hide from that, and it’s a shame to hide myself from the world! Again, balance.
12. Society’s Timeline:
BOY BYE. Do you feel like everyone you know is getting married, having babies, buying houses, etc? Yeah, I feel that too. And it’s polarizing when you are no where near that point in your lie. But remember, God isn’t putting that timeline on you – society is. And you know what God doesn’t care about? Society. Yeah, he really doesn’t lol.
You know the only thing you should care about? Your timeline that God has given you. He has it worked out. Don’t stress.
MUST. STOP. SCROLLING.
Again! Don’t compare your chapter to another’s chapter – YOU’RE IN A DIFFERENT BOOK! Of course they won’t look the same 🙂
I’ve also touched on this before on my instagram, I believe – trying to give up that need to control EVERY little thing in my life. As the great Carrie Underwood once said: “Jesus, take the wheel”. Amen, girl.
15. Other people’s baggage:
Repeat after me: “Other people’s baggage is not yours to carry”.
Do you work at the airport? Are you a taxi driver? NO. You are not a baggage handler!! Let people figure their own stuff out. It’s great if you want to help, and I think we should all help each other. But don’t carry it. DO NOT.
Netflix, food, social media, coffee… you name it. We all have a lot of “band-aids” that we turn to when we are stressed or wanting to feel numb. Band-aids don’t have to be anything “bad”, but I definitely know that there are things in my life that I use to distract myself from feelings or thoughts.
I mean, this is just never a good thing, I think we can all agree on that! I don’t carry a lot of resentment, but I do have a hard time forgetting when someone hurt me. I carry around little nagging feelings, and they are sometimes hard to shake. But, I have to shift my mental picture on this to understand that this emotion does not affect the other person, it only affects me… not cool! So buh-bye!
18. Boring Nights:
Now let me clarify, I will still revel in my Netflix nights. But what I mean by this is shifting my mindset. Some might say a typical week-night at home is “boring” because it’s normal, nothing special, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be enjoyable! I’m going to practice shifting my mindset to enjoy all of my nights, even if it’s my normal meal-prep, dinner, netflix bed routine.
19. Things I just don’t want or need or use:
Stuff. Get rid of the Stuff. ‘Nuff said.
20. “I’ll be happy when”:
Oooo yes, “the grass is greener”, “I’ll be happy when”‘s… LIVE IN THE MOMENT HALEIGH. We are not promised tomorrow, so just be happy now.
Past mistakes are in the past – the guilt will eat you alive, and cause you stress, and make your health issues worse, so stop that.
I will never truly be rid of my perfectionism, so this is more of a thing I’m always working on. But, I know that it contributes to my stress levels, and again, I’m trying to zen out over here.
Because I am a very “what if” person, I tend to think on decisions for quite sometime. Sometimes that is good, but sometimes you just end up waiting. Waiting and doing nothing. Because Hamilton is on my mind, I related so much to “Wait for It” sang by “Aaron Burr”. I’d like to think I could be more like Hamilton, but maybe a mix between Burr and Hamilton would be better…
I’ve pretty much successfully erradicated this term from my professional emails because I once read an article that women use it to justify themselves in business settings (ain’t nobody got time for that).
But I realized that this word creeps into other areas of life:
“Oh I’m just going to brunch with a friend” – NO. You are going to brunch with a friend!! You have a friend! You have money to buy brunch! You will be fed! You will be creating memories! THIS IS AWESOME!!
“Oh I’m just hanging out at home” – NO. You have a home to hang out in, a roof over your head, a place to keep you safe! THIS IS AWESOME!!
“Oh I’m just doing laundry” – NO. You have clothes to wear! You have money to buy clothes and do laundry! You have a way to express yourself! THIS IS AWESOME!!
Do you see how diminishing the word “just” is? Nike should get a new slogan.
I literally feel stress and tension in my shoulders every day and that just needs to stop. Maybe I just need more massages?
26. The past:
All I have to say is this:
“There’s only us, there’s only this
Forget regret, or life is your’s to miss
No other path, no other way
No day but today”
(again if you don’t know this reference… ugh.)
LOL. You thought I was serious.